• 5starquest2016

27 things cats can get away with doing but people can’t

Need proof that cats are secretly the rulers of the world?

Don’t look at their seriously dismissive looks in your direction, or their magical ability to always land on their feet. Just look at all the bloody ridiculous things they’re allowed to do that we, us humans, are unable to copy.

Look at who’s really on top here. Look at all the sh*t cats can get away with. They’re in charge. We are powerless. Bow down to our rulers, the cats.

As evidence of this undeniable truth, here are 27 things they can get away with that we definitely aren’t allowed to do.

1. Casually sitting on someone’s laptop when they’re working Turns out freelancers in Starbucks do NOT appreciate you taking a seat on their keyboard mid-type. Who knew? 2. Headbutting people as a sign of affection

I think this is adorable. The loved ones telling me to ‘stop that’ clearly do not. cat headbutting

3. Begging for affection then viciously clawing people when they give it

This will quickly earn you a reputation as someone who ‘runs a bit hot and cold’ or is ‘not great at dating’. Whatever.

4. Pooping in a box and making someone else clean it up for us

Not that we want to do this one. It’s just another way cats display their dominance.

5. Skipping the delicious tap and bottled water you’re offered so you can drink dirty puddle water instead!

Makes sense.

6. Frantically running up and downstairs for an hour at around 3am every day?

7. Giving people dead mice and other small animals as a way to show your love

I’m sorry, do you not appreciate this lovely gift that I caught with my bare hands (even if the experts say that it’s not actually love they’re showing)?

8. Coughing up hairballs and then just leaving them on the floor

I’m not sure I want to live in a world that doesn’t allow me to puke on the floor and do nothing to clean it up.

9. Ignoring thoughtful presents and getting excited about the boxes instead

No, I have not ‘ruined Christmas’ or ‘been totally unappreciative’. I’m just taking joy in the simple things, like this box. You know, instead of that iPad you gave me.

10. Playing with tiny sticks with feathers attached

Sometimes the mood just strikes.

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